Dale - i, not Roger, posted that.

that was your experience, and one from the outside. that she seemed to be "at ease" with it is only your outsider perspective. you have no idea how she really feels about it. also, work demands a certain amount of 'leaving personal issues at home' so that one may function professionally. and obviously, some people are quite skilled at hiding their feelings from themselves. but, as people do, you have extrapolated much from a single incident.

one of my experiences occured with my (now ex-) wife. we love children but recognized that we were not in a place in our lives where we were ready to do all that was necessary to raise the child properly. and so the knowledge that we had to terminate the life of a child that we someday wanted was draining and sad, to this day. that we both felt that we had made the right decision in retrospect is true to this day but it doesn't erase the pain and anguish of the event.

i was discussing this issue with my mom last night, and we found no easy answer. i wish all children had healthy and close relationships with their families, where they got the information, help and support that they need, but obviously that's far from the case.

somewhat off-topic yet related: China's extreme policy aside, options that keep human population growth down is beneficial to us all. it's not a moral issue as much as a survival/quality of life one for the race. there're more than enough of us already...but perhaps that's another thread.