You've traveled from your far away world to be here with us because the simple fact of the matter is EARTH WOMEN ARE SEXY! Sure, you ramble on and on about shape shifting lizards and mind control but it's all just a ruse. Your true obsession is your earth-wife, who you brag about in almost all your posts.

 You were attracted to this website because the word "Baerwald" on your planet means "to procreate" and you thought you'd find tips on scoring with the earth babes here. The weird political rantings of the posters threw you off though, so in a desperate attempt to fit in you've joined the fray with your 4th dimensional political views in hand.

  See, it was Mick who discovered all this. He's been monitoring you both since your arrival. He's filed several reports on your activites and knows all of your secrets. Even the stuff about how Pat likes to wear a brassiere and panties when he shape shifts. He had photos of this but his superiors took them away from him for fear he'd post them in the gallery. They would have found this to be in bad taste, this is a family friendly website after all.

 WE'RE ON TO YOU ALIEN SEX FIENDS! I CAN TELL YOU THAT! YOU CAN SHAPE SHIFT...BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!  

  Oh yes, and by the way, a recent survey of earth women revealed that 68% of them find shape shifting "sexy" and 82% would not subscribe to but would occasionally read a magizine called "Alien Stud".  Mainly for the articles of course!