...but he does not suffer from body dysmorphia. He has a rare malady called Quasimodo syndrome. I don't make fun of him for this though. In fact I think this is the first time I have mentioned it. It's part of what makes him such a valued contributor around here. 

Although, I will admit that Dante Alighieri's editor removed the sections from Inferno that talked about the circle of hell (originally there were 10 not 9) where the travelling pilgrim was subjected to vicious little Hobbits that had overindulged on durian fruit and become monstrously flatulent. The editor just felt humanity was not ready to be exposed to such horrors. 

However, you shall be exposed to this because it seems you've gone far too deep into the land of reality TV. Which means we are on our way to your Chicago suburb to perform and intervention...what Mick refers to as an exorcism...to break the spell.

Plus, I mean, your neighbors are going to have to witness Mick on your front lawn performing some lurid dance while playing ancient stringed instruments and howling away in what will probably be a mix of Latin and Gaelic. It's not going to be pretty.

He does have a 100% success rate curing people though so there is that. 

I'll be bombarding you with disgusting reality of Tommy Tuberville videos with him making his insane statements about ending elections and how he's proud of being a White Nationalist. Now, that's reality TV!