When you said bush joke, I thought you were keeping with the Aussie thread

So I thought you were taking us here:

To tell us something like this:

Shane Warne joke. When Shane Warne and Simone first got married Shane said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 10 years of marriage, Simone had never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 10th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there even was such a box with such contents. That evening, they were out for a special anniversary dinner. After dinner, Simone could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the 3 beer cans in the box?" Shane thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again." Simone was shocked, but said, "I am very disappointed and saddened by your behaviour. However, since you are addicted to sex, I guess it does happen and I guess 3 times is not that bad considering your problem." Shane thanked her for being so understanding. They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Simone asked Shane, "So why do you have all that money in the box?" Shane answered, "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling centre and redeemed them for cash.

Or this:

There's an old swaggy walking down a dusty outback road. A cocky pulls up in an old beat-up Ute and says, "Would you like a lift mate?" The swaggy thinks for a minute and replies, "No way mate, you can open and close your own bloody gates."

Or this:

Dashing through the bush In a rusty Holden Ute Kicking up the dust Esky in the boot Kelpie by my side Singing Christmas songs It's summer time and I am in My singlet, shorts and thongs [Chorus] Oh, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle all the way Christmas in Australia On a scorching summer's day HEY Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Christmas time is beaut! Oh what fun it is to ride In a rusty Holden Ute! Engines getting hot We dodge the kangaroos Swaggy climbs aboard He is welcome too All the family's there Sitting by the pool Christmas day, (yell) THE AUSSIE WAY by the barbecue! [chorus]