Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this after Hu Jintao was named chief of the
>Communist Party in China.
>
>HU'S ON FIRST
>
>(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
>
>George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
>
>Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
>
>George: Great. Lay it on me.
>
>Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
>
>George: That's what I want to know.
>
>Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
>
>George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
>
>Condi: Yes.
>
>George: I mean the fellow's name.
>
>Condi: Hu.
>
>George: The guy in China.
>
>Condi: Hu.
>
>George: The new leader of China.
>
>Condi: Hu.
>
>George: The Chinaman!
>
>Condi: Hu is leading China.
>
>George: Now whaddya asking me for?
>
>Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
>
>George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
>
>Condi: That's the man's name.
>
>George: That's whose name?
>
>Condi: Yes.
>
>George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
>China?
>
>Condi: Yes, sir.
>
>George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
>East.
>
>Condi: That's correct.
>
>George: Then who is in China?
>
>Condi: Yes, sir.
>
>George: Yassir is in China?
>
>Condi: No, sir.
>
>George: Then who is?
>
>Condi: Yes, sir.
>
>George: Yassir?
>
>Condi: No, sir.
>
>George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
>Get
>me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
>
>Condi: Kofi?
>
>George: No, thanks.
>
>Condi: You want Kofi?
>
>George: No.
>
>Condi: You don't want Kofi.
>
>George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And
>then get me the U.N.
>
>Condi: Yes, sir.
>
>George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
>
>Condi: Kofi?
>
>George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
>
>Condi: And call who?
>
>George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
>
>Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
>
>George: Will you stay out of China?!
>
>Condi: Yes, sir.
>
>George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
>
>Condi: Kofi.
>
>George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
>
>(Condi picks up the phone.)
>
>Condi: Rice, here.
>
>George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
>send
>some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in
>the Middle East?