If you start training now I think you can make the swim Mick. I'm in Boston so when you get here and get dried off I'll take you out get you good and drunk. Then we'll take off for Austin find Mr. Baerwald follow him around singing the worst versions of sad obscure Austrian drinking songs we can find...or maybe sad Irish drinking songs I think there may be more of them...Carrickfergus would be a good one to start with...we can save Danny Boy until we're several hours in...until he either joins in or says he'll do anything to get us to stop...then we'll get him to sing his entire catalog in chronilogical order (including his Sensible Shoes stuff and all his soundtrack work)... he will of course have to do his own version of "Come What May" then he'll have to do his best imitation of Nicole Kidman singing "Come What May" (dressed in drag of course)...when he finally wraps all this up we'll shout out all the Sting song titles we know until he plays them and whatever else we can think of until we've heard him do everything from "A Boy Named Sue" to "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" and he collapses to the floor mumbling "...polly waddle doddle all day".

At this point if you've not had your fill of hearing the man sing and I realize you've got a lot to make up for over there since you've been trapped out in the English countryside (no doubt living like a gypsy in a caravan) well I'm sure at this point the man will be ripe for complete reprogramming and brainwashing. So we'll convince him he's an expatriate American rock star named Hawk that lives in England because he's angry at the US government for not being a more militant right wing establishment(just to screw with Richard you know). Just for laughs we'll have him adopt a ridiculous Liverpudlian like accent when he speaks and we'll make him believe he is the reincarnation of some great Spanish conquistador just so he'll wear one of those funny helmets during his shows... How's that sound?

                                       Reg