Were the funeral and hurricane related? Once again, we were lucky here in Ft. Lauderdale. Sorry to hear about your loss.  

Thanks, Andrea. The funeral was unrelated, I've been caretaker to my grandmother since mom died, and I put her on hospice at 92, though she had no visible illness except the sudden raoid wearing out of very old parts. It was an unsettling experience in "playing God," personally initiating the process and following it through to the end with little visible, competent support. It's a feeling I had all during her care, the idea that I had to know enough to make sure everything that was supposed to haappen, did, while communicating crucial info to that seemed to get lost in passing to the various parties involved.

It occurrs to me now that I should have sought insight from Gene, if he was willing, during the process when I could have done more and done it better rather than now, after the end, when all I can do is feel conflicted and guilty.

Ok, that all spilled out of its own accord, unintentionally. More than you wanted to know, certainly. I'll talk about the hurricane separately.

Wait! Actually, I can make it relevant. While I was busy making someone die I played DB constantly. If I tried to play anything else it felt, distant? I felt lonely listening to anything else. Isn't that strange and somewhat pathetic? In any case, it helped and still is. I'd get antsy and uncomfortable until I put DB back in the CD player, I became aware of this clearly only yesterday. It's like my own addiction, or perhaps I can get away with calling it a coping mechanism. Somehow I'm not sure he'd be all that thrilled to hear this.

kelly