We want to know the answers. Right? This is true, a truism, right? The truth, your God, your love, your self, secrets, lies, bullshit, you want to know. Everybody wants to know something and so do I, because I’m someone too, right? We all scramble around looking for answers which only lead to more questions so we can stumble around in the dark looking for more.

That’s life, looking for more, and once you stop looking for more you stop living, right? That’s what your analyst would tell you. When you lose interest in the things you once had an interest in you may have a problem. So if this is what we are, creatures on a constant search for more, that makes us very similar to a plague or a disease, doesn’t it? I mean, this is not a new thought and I don’t say it to knock the human race or to pass judgment because who am I to do that? I mean I’m just asking. I’m asking you.

I ask because it made me think; it seems quite mad and at the same time quite reasonable. This made me think, where do I fall on that line, mad or reasonable? Because if I’m thinking about this and if I’m thinking it seems quite mad to be on a constant search for more, more, more, then perhaps I’ve…well…gone round the bend as they say. I have ceased to be useful as a human being, or whatever this package I walk around labeled as, is supposed to be.

Perhaps it is not right to consider it, or no, perhaps it is not right to fight it or rail against it. The world is a mad place, full of mad creatures, on an endless mad search. Maybe that’s what we call progress and we are not supposed to argue that, right? I mean after all it explains a lot about us and our behavior. From the physical, we eat and get hungry, eat and get hungry, to the constant desire we have to expand our wealth, power, influence, and land rights no matter the cost. We build to destroy and destroy to build.

When we see something in others that appears mad we are compelled to point it out and or rail against it. This seems odd because is not the state of madness our normal state? Everyday people say ‘that’s crazy’ or ‘that’s insane’ or ‘that makes no sense.’

Don’t they?

So, to rail against it only makes you appear even more insane. In fact we should accept it and move on. Wouldn’t that make our complex lives somewhat more bearable? Or maybe again I’m confused because maybe railing against the madness makes more sense because then I am taking part in it, participating, and I become part of the search, the endless search for more, more, more, answers, reasons, somebody to blame so I can get on to the next search and the next victim and the next desire. If I have desire, the desire to continue the search for whatever...then I am alive. I know I am living because my desire tells me I am. Yet we are supposed to control our desires, harness them, and only give in to them when it is appropriate.

When it is appropriate…and who decides this?

Obviously we can not do this on our own because if we were to decide when our own desires were appropriate the world would be mad, a total madhouse. Society decides, manners, and moral scrutiny but what of the desires of society? Who does the scrutinizing? Of course! Other mad men!

And so here I am asking this question and feeling quite mad for doing so but in feeling mad does this mean I am really alright? If I recognize the madness does this not mean I am just a functioning part of society and if being functioning means I am mad are mad men expected to control their desires?

Looking at the world it would appear not. We have an endless supply of bibles and body bags that seem to indicate we are to give in to our desires! That say we can not harness them and we can not control them and if this is the case and we all recognize this, then we must get ours! We must fulfill our desires while we can and take what we can and ravage what we can while there is still something left worth ravaging!

Because once it is all gone, once there is nothing left to eat and nothing left to bomb and nothing left to take then all we will have left is our madness.

Then, there is nothing like the warmth of an old friend and we do know him so well.