Dear Abby:

I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as a
carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a
suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is
married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling
marijuana and are currently dependent on
my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in
Attica for murder of a teenage boy in
1994.The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand
Center on charges of sexual misconduct with
his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives
in the Bronx and is still a part time
"working girl" in a brothel.

Her time there is limited as we hope to open our own brothel with her as
the
working manager. I am hoping my two
sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer
them not to prostitute themselves, it would get
them off the street, and hopefully, the heroin habits.

All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiance and look
forward to bringing her into the family and I
certainly want to be totally honest with her.

Should I tell her about my distant cousin who is French?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation