From today's Capital Times

'I'm just drunk': 2 held in booze abuse cases Mike Miller — 11/20/2007 10:41 am

One shot an accidental bullet, the other fired jars of nacho cheese, but in both cases police say alcohol abuse caused problems for two young Madison guys over the weekend.

A 17-year-old boy who had a blood-alcohol level of twice the legal limit for driving was arrested Saturday morning after trying to use a jar of nacho cheese to try to break the door of an east side liquor store.

According to a criminal complaint:

When police asked Ivan Fernando Llamas why he broke into the Liquor Baron store, 2929 E. Washington Ave., he told them: "I'm just drunk." His blood-alcohol level was 0.16 percent on a preliminary breath test.

Llamas is charged with breaking into the store and stealing a couple of 12-packs of Miller Lite, a bottle of Ezra Brooks whiskey and a bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey. All but the bottle of Jack were dropped and broken as he ran across East Washington Avenue toward the parking lot of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Unfortunately for Llamas, police were on the spot in a hurry since the entire episode was seen by a worker who was just beginning his shift at the Java Detour.

The witness told police he heard what sounded like pounding on the soda machine. That sound was actually Llamas trying to break through the glass door with his Nacho Cheese jars. Eventually he threw the two cheese jars at the glass doors. When the doors withstood the assault, he tried, in his words, to "kick the s----" out of the doors.

That was more successful and Llamas grabbed his selection, but dropped most of it as he fled.

Madison Police Officer Jason Baumgart was the first to arrive at the liquor store, at 5:48 a.m. Saturday, and reported that one of the glass doors had "what appeared to be nacho cheese all over" it.

Two other officers caught Llamas in the KFC lot moments later. The burglary charge carries a maximum penalty of 12 1/2 years of prison and extended supervision time.