I woke up one morning to find a bear on my roof so I looked in the yellow
pages and, sure enough, there's an ad for Bear Removers. I called the
number...and the Bear Remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.

The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a
baseball bat, a .50/90 Sharps rifle and a mean old pit bull.

"What are you going to do?" I asked him.

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I'm going to go
up there and knock that bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the
bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and
not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the
cage in the back of the van.  No sweat, all in a day’s work.”

He then hands me the gun!

"What' s the rifle for?" I asked.

He answers, "If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog!"