Andrea,

Maybe your workplace is something like this?

~~ Parody ~~

An office manager had money problems & had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill.

He thought he’d fire the employee who came late to work the next morning. Well, both came to work very early. Then the manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break. Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch – strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break ... opting, instead, to eat at their desk. Then the manager thought he’d wait & see who would leave work the earliest, & both employees stayed after closing.

Jill finally went to the coat rack ... & the manager went up to her and said, “Jill, I have a terrible problem. I don’t know whether to lay you or Jack off.”

Jill said, “Well, you’d better jack off ...because I’m late for my bus.”