a Junkers Christmas - DBIS Board

a Junkers Christmas

kravitz

location: eugene

listening to: Wild Feathers, Pat MacDonald, Electric Six, Mutemath

registered: 2000.02.20

posts: 2119
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Here's some real holiday cheer for y'all!

Murder For Christmas

The holidays depress me and these days they are a special kind of hell

It's hard to go out shopping when the government confines you to a cell

And I don't feel very merry as my date with the electric chair draws near

Instead of toys and candy it is murder for Christmas this year

One Christmas Eve I left the office early with a present for my spouse

I pulled into the driveway and beheld an unknown car outside our house

I took a drink and peeked inside and was appalled at things that I did see

Beneath the tree I'd trimmed with childhood ornaments she was betrayin' me

I stepped inside and spiked a glass of cider as in terror they arose

I said "It looks like what you need from Santa is a stitch or two of clothes"

And then I raised the glass up to my lips and cried and cried and then I drank some more

And I stepped in front of them and hollered "Peace on earth" as they made for the door

Then I said ho, ho, ho, and I shot 'em both and then they were dead

There is one gift you can't return and that is competition in your bed

I guess if I could change a single thing I would lay off the Christmas cheer

Forgive me baby Jesus it was murder for Christmas that year

I stood below the mistletoe and tried to comprehend what I had done

I'd spoiled two people's holidays and they were only tryin' to have some fun

Then I thought about forgiveness and I don't know when I ever felt so low

So I sat down in my Santa suit and drank and waited for the cops to show

I guess the moral's that you shouldn't let the holidays just get you down

Enjoy the time with family and go to church and love folks in your town

Had there been some Christmas magic then my wife and her good friend might not be gone

But sometimes I wish instead that I observed the solemn month of Ramadan

'Cause I said ho, ho, ho, I shot 'em both and then they were dead

There is one gift you can't return and that is competition in your bed

I guess if I could change a single thing I would lay off the Christmas cheer

Forgive me baby Jesus it was murder for Christmas that year

Help me baby Jesus it was murder for Christmas that year

You can download the mp3 here:

Kenneth Burns: Vocal, acoustic guitar

Thomas H. Crofts III: Drums

Mark Hopkins: Piano

Dave Junker: Bass guitar

Matthew Stratton: Electric guitar

–--
illegitimi non carborundum

kravitz (view)