Ben Franklin's Advice Concerning His Friend's Sexual Affairs
Green Mtn
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Ben Franklin's Advice Concerning His Friend's Sexual AffairsFranklin had a friend who did not want to get married, but was
battling with urges and lustful inclinations for the opposite sex. In
the letter which follows, Franklin first advises the friend that the
best solution for his urges is marriage. However, since he knows
the friend will not take that advice, Franklin goes on to suggest
that his friend have sexual affairs with old women. We know from
the context that he is suggesting women over 45 years of age (see
#3). His words about putting a basket over her head or turning out
the light (see #5) illustrate an aspect of Franklin's character which
is seldom exposed.
June 25, 1745My dear Friend,I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations
you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to
you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of
Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find
solid Happiness. You Reasons against entering into it at present,
appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you
have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, by they are
small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married
and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the
compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and
Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute
Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the
World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that
State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd
half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your
Industry in your Profession, with her good Oeconomy, will be a
Fortune sufficient.But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a
Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice,
that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young
ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are
these:1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their
Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is
more improving and more lastingly agreable.2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, the study to be
good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the
Dimunition of Beauty by the Augmentation of Utility. They learn to
do 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and
useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue
amiable. And hence there is hardly such thing to be found as an
old Woman who is not a good Woman.3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly
produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience.4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and
discreet in conducting and Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The
Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your
Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen
to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse
an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form
his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his
Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.5. Because in every animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the
Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: the
Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast
and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever:
So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is
below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old
from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure
of corporal Enjoyment with an Old Woman is at least equal, and
frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of
Improvement.6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching of a Virgin may be her
Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl
miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which
can attend the making an old Woman happy.8. They are so grateful!!Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly;
being sincerely Your affectionate Friend,Benjamin Franklin.Montag
–--
“Restriction of free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions.” Wm O. Douglas
“Restriction of free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions.” Wm O. Douglas
G
Green Mtn
(view)
Ben Franklin's Advice Concerning His Friend's Sexual AffairsFranklin had a friend who did not want to get married, but was
battling with urges and lustful inclinations for the opposite sex. In
the letter which follows, Franklin first advises the friend that the
best solution for his urges is marriage. However, since he knows
the friend will not take that advice, Franklin goes on to suggest
that his friend have sexual affairs with old women. We know from
the context that he is suggesting women over 45 years of age (see
#3). His words about putting a basket over her head or turning out
the light (see #5) illustrate an aspect of Franklin's character which
is seldom exposed.
June 25, 1745My dear Friend,I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations
you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to
you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of
Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find
solid Happiness. You Reasons against entering into it at present,
appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you
have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, by they are
small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married
and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the
compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and
Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute
Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the
World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that
State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd
half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your
Industry in your Profession, with her good Oeconomy, will be a
Fortune sufficient.But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a
Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice,
that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young
ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are
these:1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their
Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is
more improving and more lastingly agreable.2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, the study to be
good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the
Dimunition of Beauty by the Augmentation of Utility. They learn to
do 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and
useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue
amiable. And hence there is hardly such thing to be found as an
old Woman who is not a good Woman.3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly
produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience.4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and
discreet in conducting and Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The
Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your
Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen
to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse
an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form
his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his
Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.5. Because in every animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the
Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: the
Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast
and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever:
So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is
below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old
from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure
of corporal Enjoyment with an Old Woman is at least equal, and
frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of
Improvement.6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching of a Virgin may be her
Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl
miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which
can attend the making an old Woman happy.8. They are so grateful!!Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly;
being sincerely Your affectionate Friend,Benjamin Franklin.Montag
–--
“Restriction of free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions.” Wm O. Douglas
“Restriction of free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions.” Wm O. Douglas
