Why Tape "Catcher In The Rye" To My Forehead??
KentDB741
location: Buffalo, New York USA
listening to: The sweet music of YES
registered: 2001.11.12
posts: 1355
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Reg:You have hit on an important aspect of my life --- and once again
we find ourselves discussing CATCHER IN THE RYE.I have tried everything --- wearing a colander on my head, tin-foil
anti-radiation helmets --- all designed to keep the CIA
transmissions from interferring too much with my daily activities.http://www.straightdope.com/columns/000609.htmlhttp://www.23nlpeople.com/Tin_Foil_Helmets.htmWhat I ultimately came up with was that CATCHER IN THE RYE
worked the best for these matters --- it probably has to do with the
antidisestablishmentarianism that has played a big part in mine and
J.D.'s lives. I tried all types of books --- David Icke, Alex Jones, and so forth
--- but they were just too goddamn obvious! So, eventually I made
my way to Mr. Salinger's magnum opus. THAT seemed to do the
trick!With that dilemma solved --- NOW what I have to do is figure out a
workaround for the fact that the CIA's newest technology is using
the phosphurs of the television screen display as a camera for the
purposes of spying on the nightly activities of political dissidents.KDB = Buffalo, NY USAP.S. --- Is the above serious, or not? Only you, the reader, can judge
such a thing. P. P. S. --- Taping this book (and ONLY this book works) to my
forehead involved a bit of its' own research. The obvious, duct tape,
tore out too many hairs when removing this form of protection. What I eventually arrived at --- a tenable solution --- was the use
of "micropore" style medical tape. This paper-like substance works
well, and it doesn't remove extraneous hair-fibers or DNA upon
removal.Also, one word of advice is STICK WITH THE PAPERBACK EDITION.
The first time I did this I used the hardcover edition --- but it gave
me one wicked head and neck ache.P. P. P. S. --- When affixing the book to my forehead --- because I
live in the Northern Hemisphere --- I tape in a clockwise motion.
Those of you who may live in the Southern Hemisphere --- you can
feel free to tape in a counterclockwise motion. NOTE: The above is SATIRE --- an in no way constitutes legal advice
on how to protect yourselves from the NEW WORLD ORDER.KDB = Buffalo, NY USA
K
KentDB741
(view)
Reg:You have hit on an important aspect of my life --- and once again
we find ourselves discussing CATCHER IN THE RYE.I have tried everything --- wearing a colander on my head, tin-foil
anti-radiation helmets --- all designed to keep the CIA
transmissions from interferring too much with my daily activities.http://www.straightdope.com/columns/000609.htmlhttp://www.23nlpeople.com/Tin_Foil_Helmets.htmWhat I ultimately came up with was that CATCHER IN THE RYE
worked the best for these matters --- it probably has to do with the
antidisestablishmentarianism that has played a big part in mine and
J.D.'s lives. I tried all types of books --- David Icke, Alex Jones, and so forth
--- but they were just too goddamn obvious! So, eventually I made
my way to Mr. Salinger's magnum opus. THAT seemed to do the
trick!With that dilemma solved --- NOW what I have to do is figure out a
workaround for the fact that the CIA's newest technology is using
the phosphurs of the television screen display as a camera for the
purposes of spying on the nightly activities of political dissidents.KDB = Buffalo, NY USAP.S. --- Is the above serious, or not? Only you, the reader, can judge
such a thing. P. P. S. --- Taping this book (and ONLY this book works) to my
forehead involved a bit of its' own research. The obvious, duct tape,
tore out too many hairs when removing this form of protection. What I eventually arrived at --- a tenable solution --- was the use
of "micropore" style medical tape. This paper-like substance works
well, and it doesn't remove extraneous hair-fibers or DNA upon
removal.Also, one word of advice is STICK WITH THE PAPERBACK EDITION.
The first time I did this I used the hardcover edition --- but it gave
me one wicked head and neck ache.P. P. P. S. --- When affixing the book to my forehead --- because I
live in the Northern Hemisphere --- I tape in a clockwise motion.
Those of you who may live in the Southern Hemisphere --- you can
feel free to tape in a counterclockwise motion. NOTE: The above is SATIRE --- an in no way constitutes legal advice
on how to protect yourselves from the NEW WORLD ORDER.KDB = Buffalo, NY USA
