KEVIN:"Oh, so it bothers you that I threw a little dig in at the end.  BFD...look at this board from my point of view and what I have to put up with it in nearly every post you guys make." 

DAVID: Poor man. I was indeed insensitive to your feelings. But if it’s such a burden on your tender heart, why do you troll here?

KEVIN:"Grow up!  And you don't think I know people are dying in Iraq?  You make it sound as if I couldn't care less and that the democrats are the only caring people. "

DAVID:Then fight with the rest of us to free this country and Iraq from the Bush/Cheney/PNAC/ Enron/Halliburton debacle, instead of twisting yourself into a knot trying to defend the indefensible. And by the way, who said anything about Democrats?

KEVIN:"You care that the nice little nitch you've carved out for yourself isn't upset in any way.  To hell with anyone else in another part of the world.  Is that how you feel?  That is such bullshit! "

DAVID:You’re absolutely right. I’m a heartlesss brute, only concerned with the immediate satisfaction of my most Godless cravings. Speaking of which, where is that virgin I was going to slaughter and eat? Damn, I’d lose my head if it wasn’t screwed on. But again, as you’re such a pinnacle of moral strength and goodwill, why endanger yourself here? Clearly anyone who has even a passing interest in me must be tainted with the same stench of self- serving perversion as I most undoubtedly carry like some kind of omnisexual Typhoid Mary. Why expose yourself to the needless risk? (BTW, it’s the nice little “niche” I’ve carved out for myself. Spelling counts.)

KEVIN:"You're right that the military is stretched thin.  Who do we have to thank for that?  The last time I checked, the budget for the military was growing at around 7% per year.  How is that a cut?"

DAVID: Silly me. I thought spending 2/3rds of our active combat troops in an unnecessary 5- 10 year occupation had something to do with our exposure in places like North Korea.

KEVIN:"Your little rant/obfuscation still leaves my remark about Saddam not providing proof that he destroyed WMD unanswered.  It really does all turn on that small detail no matter how much bullshit you want to throw up."

DAVID: Tough to prove a negative. For instance: Prove to me that you havent molested children in the last year. Prove to me that you havent given money to murderers. Prove to me that you don't have weapons stashed. Prove to me that you havent sold drugs in the last year. Prove to me that you havent killed anybody. Prove to me that you don't beat your wife. Prove to me that you're not a necrophiliac. Understand that any proof you do offer will be considered proof that youre lying.

KEVIN: "Saddam is to blame for the mess his country is in.  Not Bush.  People in Iraq are either once again or for the first time in their lives able to imagine a country free from oppression. "

DAVID: Free from oppression? What kind of drugs are you on? And prove to me while you're at it that youre not on drugs. Some kind of drug that my crack team of drug inspectors can't find traces of. Just because my crack team of drug inspectors can't find them doesnt prove that you're not cunning enough to ingest a drug that they can't find. In fact, I’d consider the lack of drug traces in your system to be proof that you are indeed up to something. Maybe even worse than drug-taking.

KEVIN: "Maybe that's not important to you.  I'm happy for them and also sorry that it has cost peoples lives to get to this point." 

DAVID: Okay. Can I borrow your kids sometime? I want to use them for something. They might get killed or crippled, and I’m not going to tell you why, but I swear it'll be for a good cause. Trust me. If you don’t, you’re a traitor, and I’m going to have to destroy you.

KEVIN: "Cliton, Gore, Kerry etc would have given the people of Iraq the same help the people of Rwanda got a decade ago when over one million of them were murdered." 

DAVID: Yes, Rwanda was a disgrace, and still is. As we're now so anxious to spend half a trillion dollars helping the suffering people of the world, why waste it all in one place? Lot more people dying in the Congo, for instance than in Saddam's Iraq, or even Rwanda at its worst. Be a lot cheaper to help there. Easier forf PR and international relations. Not as much oil though. Aaah, well, you’re right. Iraq it is. So good of you to remind me that this is a humanitarian mission we’re on in Baghdad. Don’t know how I could have thought otherwise. Silly me. My mistake. Better luck next massacre. By the way, this "Cliton" thing. Is it just a common typo or are you making a funny? KEVIN: ‘I absolutely support Bush in his determination to make our world a better place and I despise those like yourself who are the real self serving among us."

DAVID: I'm very glad to know of such an upright person as yourself. It does me good, knowing theres such a forthright defender of decency in the world. But why oh why do you waste your efforts here? Clearly, I'm beyond saving. And seeing as it causes you such obvious pain and all. All us nasty cynics, questioning our leadership, readng the wrong books, hugging trees, other depraved perversions no doubt. Hate to cause you needless suffering. They could probably use you in Baghdad. You could support our troops, right up close. Some of them might like you. Maybe I'll see you there.

In the meantime, keep up the good work.

David