In light of the monstrous Ukraine framing by Trump this week I hastened the formulation of this post. I also may be channeling the spirit of EEE in working back alley tactics as an expression of my disgust for what's transpired. In my line of work I counsel a lot of victims of narcissistic abuse. When educating and strengthening their will I'm always looking for the best ways to help them see through the gaslighting and stand up to the blitzkrieg of intimidation and bullying. There are quite a few concepts to draw upon but I believe the acronym DARVO stands out above the rest for its accuracy, clarity, and totality of what victims experience at the hands of narcissistic abusers. The term was coined by a psychologist at University of Oregon who studies narcisstic abuse and betrayal trauma. (There is a Wikipedia article if anyone wants to delve further). In short, it stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender roles. It's all laid out in pretty straightforward form yet still expertly describes the very patterned and systematic sequencing abusers use to confuse and disorient.
There are likely reasons why this acronym has such resonating impact for victims trying to break vicious patterns of abuse. For starters, research indicates that many efforts to counter narcissistic attacks only focus on one or two elements (like victim blaming or counterattacking). However, DARVO concisely explains the process as a whole and allows people to see the "gestalt" of the entire manipulative playbook. It also parallels research in tobacco reduction programs that found teenagers are more likely to resist if they feel they are being intentionally exploited or manipulated. In short, from systematic abuse to tobacco marketing it does seem that once individuals perceive these actions as deliberate and willfully malicious stratagems the veil is lifted and the cycle can be broken. This lines up with my personal experience as no other acronym has yielded more "aha" moments for my clients than this one.
I think many females (and some men) sometime in their lives can relate to experiencing DARVO from unhealthy family members, partners, or friends (Andi, if I recall you spoke poignantly about your own personal experiences). I also know many of my clients have felt satisfaction and relief in finding a term that firmed their footing and galvanized their resolve when faced with this malignant form of assault. Therefore, I think as a society we need to find a way to inject this term into the mainstream lexicon to serve as an easily recognizable way to call attention to Trump and his acolytes' execrable behavior. Because DARVO Don relies on this technique so often, finding a term that links his behavior to those of narcissistic abusers could reshape the narrative in a potentially impactful way. I'm not Pollyanna enough to think that one nickname could alter the course of public perception. However, DARVO has the potent combination of social media digestibility while maintaining persuasive interpretive power. I am going to reach out to my representatives and anyone I know with political clout to suggest floating this term as a test balloon in some hail mary effort to catch virality. If anyone here feels the same feel free to reach out to anyone who has significant influence and offer the same. I'll do my small part by making "Darvo Don" my appellation of choice for all future references to the orange one.
Darvo Don (aka Donnie Darvo)
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In light of the monstrous Ukraine framing by Trump this week I hastened the formulation of this post. I also may be channeling the spirit of EEE in working back alley tactics as an expression of my disgust for what's transpired. In my line of work I counsel a lot of victims of narcissistic abuse. When educating and strengthening their will I'm always looking for the best ways to help them see through the gaslighting and stand up to the blitzkrieg of intimidation and bullying. There are quite a few concepts to draw upon but I believe the acronym DARVO stands out above the rest for its accuracy, clarity, and totality of what victims experience at the hands of narcissistic abusers. The term was coined by a psychologist at University of Oregon who studies narcisstic abuse and betrayal trauma. (There is a Wikipedia article if anyone wants to delve further). In short, it stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender roles. It's all laid out in pretty straightforward form yet still expertly describes the very patterned and systematic sequencing abusers use to confuse and disorient.
There are likely reasons why this acronym has such resonating impact for victims trying to break vicious patterns of abuse. For starters, research indicates that many efforts to counter narcissistic attacks only focus on one or two elements (like victim blaming or counterattacking). However, DARVO concisely explains the process as a whole and allows people to see the "gestalt" of the entire manipulative playbook. It also parallels research in tobacco reduction programs that found teenagers are more likely to resist if they feel they are being intentionally exploited or manipulated. In short, from systematic abuse to tobacco marketing it does seem that once individuals perceive these actions as deliberate and willfully malicious stratagems the veil is lifted and the cycle can be broken. This lines up with my personal experience as no other acronym has yielded more "aha" moments for my clients than this one.
I think many females (and some men) sometime in their lives can relate to experiencing DARVO from unhealthy family members, partners, or friends (Andi, if I recall you spoke poignantly about your own personal experiences). I also know many of my clients have felt satisfaction and relief in finding a term that firmed their footing and galvanized their resolve when faced with this malignant form of assault. Therefore, I think as a society we need to find a way to inject this term into the mainstream lexicon to serve as an easily recognizable way to call attention to Trump and his acolytes' execrable behavior. Because DARVO Don relies on this technique so often, finding a term that links his behavior to those of narcissistic abusers could reshape the narrative in a potentially impactful way. I'm not Pollyanna enough to think that one nickname could alter the course of public perception. However, DARVO has the potent combination of social media digestibility while maintaining persuasive interpretive power. I am going to reach out to my representatives and anyone I know with political clout to suggest floating this term as a test balloon in some hail mary effort to catch virality. If anyone here feels the same feel free to reach out to anyone who has significant influence and offer the same. I'll do my small part by making "Darvo Don" my appellation of choice for all future references to the orange one.
