That's a lovely story Eric. I too was made to feel incredibly guilty by relatives when my Mum passed away. Whilst I have regretted not being there at the end, it was just too painful for me to cope with at the time- I was 7 1/2 months pregnant with my first child (Alyssa) and being harassed by an ex-husband who I was yet to divorce - just so tired and emotional. I also thought deep down that she wouldn't die - she had put up such a fight over many years. I naively believed there would be time to talk later.

The same relatives gave me grief when I didn''t name Alyssa after my Mum (Betty). I got lumbered with my grandmother's name as my middle name and wouldn't want to do that to my daughter. It didn't mean I didn't love my Mum though...

I have similar issues at Christmas time. My Dad is in a nursing home in Albany suffering from dementia. We brought him out for lunch last year (2 trips and 200 km) and he ate next to nothing and was disorientated upon his return. If you asked him the next day where he'd been he wouldn't have had a clue. I am struggling with my conscience as to what to do this year. Once again the constant carping of judgemental elderly relatives rings in my ears.

I like the sound of your gift Eric.