all for everything and anything and whatever in between.

archy on everest

by don marquis

may eighteenth fifteen

thousand feet up on mount

everest today i caught a ride

on an airplane going my way

everyone i meet is all hopped up

with the altitude

caught up with the maharajah of nepal

gaily hopping over snow and ice

bare legged i said to him

hello spinach face are you starting

a nudist colony up here

and he replied

an avalanche

tore off my panche

and left me feeling funny

but we never rest

on everest

my himalaya honey

yes i says but who was that lady

i seen you walking with

a mile of so below

that wasnt no lady he says quick as a flash

that was the taj mahal

skipping along ahead of us were

the dalai lama and mehitabel the cat

mehitabel had written in the snow

send a message to my public

in america please archy give them

love and kittens from mehitabel

and the dalai lama

may nineteenth spent the day

riding up on airplanes

and coasting down on avalanches

if you dont know anything about asia

it would surprise you how much traffic

there is in the himalayas

may twentieth twenty thousand feet up

overtook a bum who says he is

nicholas romanoff formerly czar

of all the russias and when i say all

i mean all archy he said

the sun never set on my dominions

why not i asked him

because they were too cold

to hatch he replied ask me another

the reds missed me he said

and i have been in siberia ever since

i figure if i can get to the top

and stay there i will be safe

have you got a can opener

what for i enquired

i have some canned heat he said

but i cant get into it

i have practically lived on canned heat

ever since i escaped from russia

may twenty first got carried down

four thousand feet by a snow slide

when i came to myself

i was on a ledge of rock

and sitting in a row with their feet

hanging over nothing were mehitabel the cat

the dalai lama and the taj mahal

nicholas romanoff and the maharajah of nepal

all drinking canned heat and singing

in part as follows

we have tried all sorts

of winter sports

and spent a mint of money

we have skied the alps

and cracked our scalps

and burrowed like a bunny

but everest is sure the best

my himalaya honey

listen now said the former czar

and i will tell you the story of my life

it was going off that gold that ruined me

you mean the gold standard asked the lama

no said the maharajah

he means the gold cure

nevertheless said nicholas romanoff

i will tell you now the

story of my life

with slides asked the taj mahal

cant you try and forget it

mister romanoff asked the maharajah

no said the former czar

sniffing the canned heat

not while i have this rosemary

it is for remembrance

and he hit his insides

a terrific wallop with the horrid stuff

yes and rue is for you

said the taj mahal

kicking him five thousand feet downhill

and larkspur is for cooties

the dalai lama shouted

after him as he whirled into space

i discovered a virgin gold mine

the next morning how do you know

it is virgin asked mehitabel

yes said the taj mahal explain

tush tush said the dalai lama

give it the benefit of the doubt

well it seems reasonable said i

there is a snow slide

over it every twenty minutes

archy