The Centers for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of a sexually transmitted disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and is pronounced "gonna re-elect him."
Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having being screwed for four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include:
* anti-social personality disorders,
* delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones,
* extreme cognitive dissonance,
* inability to incorporate new information,
* pronounced xenophobia and paranoia,
* inability to accept responsibility for one's own actions,
* cowardice masked by misplaced bravado,
* uncontrolled facial smirking,
* ignorance of geography and history,
* tendencies toward evangelical theocracy and
* categorical all-or-nothing behavior.
Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas. The search for a cure continues.
